{"id":246,"date":"2011-02-02T02:27:35","date_gmt":"2011-02-02T07:27:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/emprendedor.com\/2015\/?p=246"},"modified":"2015-02-02T02:28:01","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T07:28:01","slug":"w-c-fields","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/?p=246","title":{"rendered":"W. C. Fields"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"W.C.<\/a>

W.C. Fields (1880-1946)<\/p><\/div>\n

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.<\/p>\n

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.<\/span><\/p>\n

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.<\/span><\/p>\n

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.<\/span><\/p>\n

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.<\/span><\/p>\n

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.<\/span><\/p>\n

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?<\/span><\/p>\n

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.<\/span><\/p>\n

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.<\/span><\/p>\n

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.<\/span><\/p>\n

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.<\/span><\/p>\n

I drink therefore I am.<\/span><\/p>\n

I like children – fried.<\/span><\/p>\n

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.<\/span><\/p>\n

I must have a drink of breakfast.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never met a kid I liked.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.<\/span><\/p>\n

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.<\/span><\/p>\n

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.<\/span><\/p>\n

If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.<\/span><\/p>\n

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.<\/span><\/p>\n

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.<\/span><\/p>\n

Never give a sucker an even break.<\/span><\/p>\n

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.<\/span><\/p>\n

On the whole, I’d rather be in Philidelphia.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.<\/span><\/p>\n

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.<\/span><\/p>\n

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.<\/span><\/p>\n

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.<\/span><\/p>\n

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are only two real ways to get ahead today – sell liquor or drink it.<\/span><\/p>\n

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.<\/span><\/p>\n

Women are like elephants. I like to look at ‘em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket. Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-frases"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=246"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":248,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/246\/revisions\/248"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}