{"id":346,"date":"2014-07-14T18:35:49","date_gmt":"2014-07-14T23:35:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/emprendedor.com\/2015\/?p=346"},"modified":"2015-12-10T21:52:03","modified_gmt":"2015-12-11T02:52:03","slug":"louis-c-k","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/?p=346","title":{"rendered":"Louis C. K."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Louis<\/a>

Louis C. K. (1967)<\/p><\/div>\n

I don\u2019t stop eating when I\u2019m full. The meal isn\u2019t over when I\u2019m full. It\u2019s over when I hate myself.<\/p>\n

An optimist is somebody who goes, \u201cHey, maybe something nice will happen.\u201d Why the fuck would anything nice happen?<\/p>\n

I finally have the body I want. It\u2019s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.<\/p>\n

People say, \u201cMy phone sucks.\u201d No, it doesn\u2019t! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.<\/p>\n

Talking is always positive. That\u2019s why I talk too much.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.<\/p>\n

When I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it\u2019s really like magic because you transform reality for people.<\/p>\n

Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.<\/p>\n

I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like you spend time with people you never would have chosen to spend time with, not in a million years.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve started to kind of hate people, and it\u2019s not because I have anything against them. It\u2019s just, I enjoy it. It\u2019s recreation.<\/p>\n

I love to shit. It\u2019s my favorite thing. I don\u2019t know why they call it Number Two. I think it\u2019s easily the best one. In my book, it\u2019s Number One.<\/p>\n

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities\u2026Shouldn\u2019t you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That\u2019s a very white attitude, don\u2019t you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he\u2019d be like, \u201cLook at all the minorities around here! I\u2019m the only majority.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are two types of people in the world: People who say they pee in the shower and dirty fucking liars.<\/p>\n

Drugs are so fucking good that they will ruin your life.<\/p>\n

It seems like the better it gets, the more miserable people become. There\u2019s never a technological advancement where people think, \u201cWow, we can finally do this!\u201d And I think a lot of it has to do with advertising. Americans have it constantly drilled into our heads, every fucking day, that we deserve everything to be perfect all the time.<\/p>\n

A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he\u2019ll leave you as a human being intact. He won\u2019t fuck with who you are. Women are non-violent, but they will shit inside of your heart.<\/p>\n

I have a lot of beliefs and I live by none of \u2018em. That\u2019s just the way I am. They\u2019re just my beliefs. I just like believing them. I like that part.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re older, you\u2019re smarter. I just believe that. If you\u2019re in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen to \u2018em. Even if they\u2019re wrong, their wrongness is rooted in more information than you have.<\/p>\n

God is like a shitty girlfriend.<\/p>\n

I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish \u2013 that\u2019s what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.<\/p>\n

Life\u2019s too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m bored\u201d is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you\u2019ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless, it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you\u2019re alive is amazing, so you don\u2019t get to say \u201cI\u2019m bored.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you do something and people think you\u2019re stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes stupid people.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s in the Ten Commandments to not take the Lord\u2019s name in vain. Rape is not up there, by the way. Rape is not a Ten Commandment. But don\u2019t say the dude\u2019s name with a shitty attitude.<\/p>\n

Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you\u2019re all gonna die and then you\u2019re gonna be dead for way longer than you\u2019re alive. Like that\u2019s mostly what you\u2019re ever gonna be. You\u2019re just dead people that didn\u2019t die yet.<\/p>\n

Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it\u2019s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce \u2026 That would be sad. If two people were married and they were really and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.<\/p>\n

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you’re good at.<\/p>\n

I do feel a lot of times like I’m out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t stop eating when I\u2019m full. The meal isn\u2019t over when I\u2019m full. It\u2019s over when I hate myself. An optimist is somebody who goes, \u201cHey, maybe something nice will happen.\u201d Why the fuck would anything nice happen? I finally have the body I want. It\u2019s easy, actually, you just have to want a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-frases"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=346"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":352,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346\/revisions\/352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.emprendedor.site\/2015\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}